Donnie Darko has always been a mixed bag. Regarded by some as a cult favorite and others as an incoherent mess, the news that a sequel is on the horizon will most likely disappoint both camps. That’s right, filming starts May 18th, and the straight-to-DVD winner won’t feature Donnie, but will focus on the deranged visions of his younger sister. Yikes.

Simon Crowe of Velvet Octopus, the sales company set to launch propositions, "Donnie's not in [the new film] but there are meteorites and rabbits." Great, Simon, you sound so conciliatory. Why don't you just say “We know we’re going to botch this, but I promise, you’ll have some iconography to cling to.” We say, suck it.