Growing up, I never knew the joys of convenience food.  No peanut butter with hydrogenated oils, no artificially colored marshmallow cereal, and no drinks made with high-fructose corn syrup.  I know, I know, what was my mother thinking?

So, I have been deprived of the All-American experience of Kraft Foods.  But for those of you who grew up addicted to nuclear sludge Velveeta I have good news for you.  Kraft has decided to make their food even more convenient.

Admit it, it’s difficult to open a plastic container of cool whip, refrigerate pudding, or spread cream cheese on a bagel.  And, finally, Kraft has found solutions to these plaguing problems.  Canned whip cream! Pudding packets that congeal as soon as you stir in milk! Pre-sliced bagels that are pre-stuffed with cream cheese!

What innovation.  How inspiring.  How groundbreaking.  Let’s hear it for Kraft, the brand that put the word “additive” on the culinary map.