Women, all around me, are settling.  Not settling down, not finding Mr.Right, but finding Mr. Right Now.  It isn’t about dating someone who meets your standards, it’s about fucking someone who meets half of them.  Or, casually seeing someone who is “perfect” but unavailable. 

It isn’t as if I am above this.  I have a definite type, and he isn’t for me: tall, charming, and completely unavailable.  Throw in arty and broke-as-fuck and Michelle has found herself a winner.  And, it always ends the same way.  The musician goes on tour, the graphic designer flies back to Oregon, the playwright realizes he has ‘commitment issues.’  Everything starts so fast, the sex, furiously typed emails, three o’clock phone conversations, and fourteen hour dinners.  And then, it’s over.

I haven’t given up on romance, but I’m not exactly hopeful either.  And everyone around me is experiencing the same thing.  My friends date guys who are cute, but have a history of alcoholism and narcissism.  If a guy satisfies them intellectually, he never has time for them.

Are my friends and I attracted exclusively to assholes?  Do we secretly want to be rejected and ignored?  Or, are we actively seeking a life without commitments?

None of the above are true.  I think relationships are no longer cool.  Monogamy is passé.  It’s been done before, and done badly.  And, generation Y-Me wants something different.  We are, collectively over relationships, and finding the next thing is not as easy as it seems.

Maybe I’m just old fashioned.  I think that we give a part of ourselves to everyone who we love.  So, when you aren’t in a relationship, after a lot of trial and error, you are left feeling incomplete.

The solution?  Maybe I should re-envision a self that remains whole even in a relationship.  Or, I should stop making sweeping generalizations about romance.  Or, I should just start dating again.  Truth is, I don’t know what I should do, but you can only remain in limbo for so long.